How do I write about depression without depressing people?!



Kay Redfiled Jamison

 I've read some books by people who've experienced depression that are frankly depressing!  (In fact, almost all of them fall into this category, one exception being the wonderful 'An Unquiet Mind ' by Kay Redfield Jamison, possibly because she suffers from bipolar so there is more of an upside than a story of unipolar depression!  But also because she's a fabulous writer.)  The question is - how do I not fall into this trap myself?

One way is by writing about my experience of transforming depression into lasting happiness, which is what I'm doing.  Although it's not perfect happiness and I have my low hours, days and occasionally weeks (but these days not months on end, which is cause for celebration) happiness is now my default position, my new normal.  This should make for an inspiring and uplifting read, right?

But even that has not been enough to solve the problem.  To make sure that my personal story is uplifting while being totally honest I've been working out the ratio of negative to positive content.  I'm doing this by highlighting phrases and sentences in yellow and grey (or leaving them white when they are neutral, such as statements of fact).

For example:
 As I drive on down the sun-drenched avenue I am filled with an incredible joy, a sense of almost overwhelming well-being.
or
It protects me from the person who’s more dangerous to me than any burglar or gang member or drunk driver.  That person is myself.  I share my life and my brain with a potential murderer and happiness keeps her at bay.  For now, at least.

Then I count up the lines of yellow and grey in each paragraph, then total them in each section and work out ratios.  I keep a running count of the totals and ratio for the chapter I'm working on.  Luckily I'm slightly anal in personality so I actually enjoy this.  ('Slightly?!' I can hear my loving friends exclaiming, 'you've got to be kidding!  You are SO anal Kaye!')  OK, OK, I'm very anal, which is lucky for me, as it's a painstaking job.

'Your point being?' I can hear all 2 readers asking.  (Yes, I actually have readers!  It's so exciting!)  The reasons for all this anality (is that actually a word?  Never mind, it is now) is that research by Barbara Fredrickson, Marciel Losada and colleagues shows that a ratio of three or more positive communications to every negative communication results in more work success and positive emotions.  As I want this work to succeed and I want readers to actually come away feeling good, not put the book down in horror, as I have done with some I've read, I think checking out my ratio is pretty important.

But here's the thing (as my favourite TV detective, Mr Monk, is so fond of saying.)  I'm finding it incredibly hard to achieve this ratio.  Even in sections which are about really positive events I find the grey is taking up more than its fair share of space.  This is making me wonder whether this is more about the subject matter or my way of looking at the world.   There's some pretty convincing evidence that people who are prone to depression tend to focus on the negatives in life more than the positives.  So not only am I writing about some pretty disturbing experiences, but it could be that my depressogenic (such a great word - only a psychologist could come up with that one!) habits are leading me to focus overly on the grey material - the half of the glass that is empty, rather than the half that is full.  Which makes checking the ratios and tweaking to get them right even more important.  So it's back to the chapter!